Ever wonder what a carbon footprint is? I did, and I found this amazing website brought to you in part by Algore that helped me calculate exactly how guilty I should feel. After filling in a few simple questions about my car, home heating cost and how many trips I take a year, I found out that I’m an enormous pig. According to Algore, I’m belching out an amazing 15.5 metric tons of Co2 per year. I tried my best to get that CFP (carbon foot print) down to at least AVERAGE. But alas I consume one too many fourth meals for the Algore’s liking and have been labeled “much larger than average”. Rosie?
How can this be? I try to cut down on driving, I only buy recycled toilet paper, I can’t do anymore… and then I found the answer! (in an advertisement bar at the bottom of the page) NativeEnergy.com! YES, there is a way that I can continue to pollute and not worry about it’s effects on the earth. For a measly $180 (or $15 monthly), NativeEnergy.com will offset my gargantuan CFP. This amazing “company” claims to take all of my money and offset my CFP by paying for things like clean energy plants, solar panels, windmills, mulch piles and other forms of green. What’s more, they are all run by naïve native americans. What would we do without the indians?
I have found my new calling; I am going to start a green energy company, I will call it Greenron, and it shall be glorious. I will hire people with names like Jonny Bearcub Stiffarm (middle of the page) and wear bolo ties, lots of bolo ties. I will use words like “green” and “eco”. But most of all I will feel better about myself, I will count my much larger than average sacks of money and feel good that I am changing the world, one guilty idiot at a time.
Thank you Algore!
