sick of jay walking bears, man takes matters into his own hands

Jim Litz was out for a leisurely bike ride on Monday morning. While coasting down a hill he hit a rise in the road and suddenly spotted a bear only 10 feet in front of him. Without time to react Jim plowed into the bruin while traveling an est. 25 mph.

He tumbled over the handlebars, his helmet hit the bear's back and the two went cartwheeling down the road.

The 300-pound bear rolled over Litz's head, cracking his helmet, and scratched his back.

After a heated argument the two exchanged insurance information and the bear went scampering up a hill above the road.

Jim later realized that the bear's insurance information was bogus and is now having to make a claim on his own policy.

When asked if he regrets not calling the police Litz replied, "I should have been more suspicious when he handed me a piece of bark that smelled a lot like feces."

someone once known for something says something

Recently, former "Baywatch" actress, Pamela Anderson was asked by an E! reporter if she'd seen the photo of Governor Sarah Palin, a proud hunter, with an animal fur in the background. Anderson, a vegetarian and gargantuan PETA supporter, responded, "I can't stand her!" She then rolled her eyes and went on to say, "She can suck it!" (I thought that’s what Pam was famous for)

Governor Palin's camp released a statement in response; "We are deeply troubled by the recent increase of attacks on Governor Palin's character. We ask that Hollywood council all celebrities, former celebrities, child actors, stand-up comedians and mimes to please refrain from making public statements, as it only increases the public’s perception that Hollywood is made up of bunch of liberal mouth flatulators.”

A Hollywood spokesperson replied several days later apologizing to Governor Palin stating, “We are sorry for the late reply and for the misunderstanding. We regret to inform you that Ms. Anderson has never officially been registered as a celebrity and thus we have no power over her. We suggest that you merely ignore her, as nobody has ever remembered anything that she’s ever said anyway.”